Exam musings
First day back at school today - a little disconcerting to be in what is undeniably a "public atmosphere" in the wake of all this SARS rubbish, but I don't suppose it is an excuse to cut school. Nothing's changed much - the school is still a grotty peach colour, the field is still a waterlogged cesspool, and the kids on my bus are still as annoying as ever. Although, I did get two of my mock exam results back today, and did...rather a bit better than I was expecting (or dreading)...so, two A's down, one more to go.
This brings me to a kind of predicament. For the past three major exams I've sat (GCSE, AS and mocks), I've always felt after I did the exam that I failed/didn't do very well, but the results that came back proved me...wrong. This means that I end up worrying myself to hell and back for no reason - I worried myself senseless about the AS History paper last year, for example, and spent the entire summer holidays studying for the November resits, only to find out in August that I got the damn A after all. After my GCSEs I was so sure I wouldn't make my scholarship grade conditions (8A's) to be able to attend GIS Sixth Form that I actually went to another college for two months, until I did get my results and found out I could go after all - which also meant that I didn't really have a summer holiday :P
So, as I said, this is a bit of a dilemma. Judging from the past three years, I should actually stop worrying so much about the real exams this June (and believe me I am worrying, I think I will have gray hairs when I graduate). BUT, and this is a big BUT, if I become too complacent, I may just make the biggest mistake of my life when it actually counts the most. Complacency is an evil, evil thing. And I'd rather expend effort worrying than crying over spilt milk, to be quite frank. So the million dollar question is: how much am I going to allow myself to slack off this month? :P
And I suppose the million dollar answer is: not at all.