To make and break a theory
I have devised a Cunning - and probably entirely Baseless - theory (please suppress the groans). While grappling morosely with the difference between el capital and la capital, or el cura and la cura (yes, there IS a difference), it came to me that the languages with obsessive emphasis on gender distinction (e.g. Italian, Spanish, French) are spoken by countries with historically acclaimed notoriety for amorous/lecherous/romantic/passionate dispositions. My theory, therefore, is that because it is the Italian, French and Spanish languages that insist on giving tables, shoes and peanuts a gender, it is these countries whose people - culturally constantly aware of the sexes - are (in)famous for l'amor - the Polished, Passionate French, the Expressive, Amorous Italians, and the Spanish, who have come up with the most beautiful way to say "I love you" (in my opinion).
And as a true objective historian, I shall now blow my theory to smithereens, because German also incorporates linguistic gender distinction, and, to paraphrase my Spanish Professor paraphrasing one historical royal personage (I forget which one), one uses Italian to sing to one's lover, French to speak to one's lover, Spanish to speak to one's God, and German to speak to one's horse.
I have nothing against Germans (they are a supremely delightful bunch), but the language sounds like someone choking on their tongue.