Why yes, a shower would be much appreciated
It has come to my attention that I am some kind of alcohol magnet. Three hours, and I have been baptized with varying(ly substantial) amounts of lager, Guiness and cider, by the hands of inebriated youngsters with deplorable motor control. It bodes not well for one's personal hygiene. Latent sugars are crystallizing my hair into an aphro - which, I shall concede, is not such a terrible thing, as tonight is Boogie Night at the Union. Bad hairstyles reign supreme.
Why, oh why do people insist on bringing drinks onto the dance floor?