Admin things
I have lost my AIDS sponsorship form. I suspect it is residing somewhere in England, in the hands of a certain Duncan Sinclair, the sponsorship form thief (:P), and I am in Malaysia. Therefore, an impassioned appeal: if you have donated anything to me, please email me with your name, where you are from, how much you donated and any comments. Please don’t email me if I have not actually received your donation, as I am abominable enough at accounting without having to contend with mysterious phantom money. Please also do not lie to me re. how much you donated, as I own some impossibly powerful goats and bazookas, and will not hesitate to unleash both simultaneously upon you the numbers won’t tally.
If you have donated/are donating above 5 pounds, you may also email me a topic you would derive great sadistic pleasure from, by watching me attempt to write something moderately intelligent about it. Some imaginative examples would be: 1) whether badgers would object to their names being used as a verb with such annoying and negative connotations; 2) why a cloud cannot just look like a cloud, and has to instead look like a “funny-shaped duck”, or “a kind-of dragon”, or “a face, if you can conceive of a face without a nose and chin, and a distinctly cloud-shaped forehead”, etc; 3) whether panthers in South Africa would ever believe that there is such thing as Arctic Penguins; etc. I promise I will write whatever is required. Really.
Aside from that, I guess I’ve just given you a sneak preview of The Madness What Is To Come on Friday :)