Backdated
I write this on the last day of my tropical island vacation, twitching with the frazzled desperation of a net-addict deprived of internet access for four days. But I write this, also, with a satisfactory tan, which balances out the injustice somewhat. Currently, I would be categorized in the vicinity of medium-well, whereas at the beginning of my holiadys, I was distinctly rare, or even blue. Ideally, I'd much like to be well-done; but enough of likening me to a cow.
It is practically religious dogma that tropical island vacations will result inevitably in the sun leaving on hiatus, and the onset of torrential thunderstorms, for the entirety of the trip. In fact, it is practically an immutable law of physics, and I am convinced there must be a universal equation somewhere that reads something like
(tropical x island) + holiday = [-(sun) + thunderstorms2 ] x A
where A is a variable representing the precise length of stay. However, in defiance of all expectations, my vacation was a delightful rejection of said principle. Upon arrival, the sun actually returned from a 3-week hiatus, and the torrential thunderstorms took place on the night before we left. Tropical sun beamed down for the entirety of my vacation; resulting, of course, in said tan.
I'm convinced there will be repercussions for this transgression. The cosmos will inevitably require retribution for my delight (because it is, of course, inherently malicious, and Sod's Law is ample proof).
Perhaps tomorrow I shall be savagely ambushed by the local simian population. Hurrah!