Lesson learned
And the Lord said: Thou shalt not place a hard-boiled egg in a microwave for more than 9.8 seconds, for it shall detonate with a small, unassuming pop.
And I disobeyed the Lord. And then there was egg decorating the insides of my microwave, and the Lord was smug indeed.
Why does putting "and" at the beginning of sentences make them sound so mature academic kitsch?