The Varied And Many Manifestations of Hell
There are those irreligious disbelivers who posit that Hell does not exist. They are, of course, wrong. Today, I am here to tell you that it indeed does exist, in the following vile and fearful forms:
China Dolls. There is good reason for those vacant, frozen glazed stares - evidently at human room temperature, their expressions freeze into masks, simply because they are creatures of the furnace of overpowering fiery wrath that is Hell, and room temperature is positively Arctic in comparison. Those glassy-eyed gazes reduce me to warm white paste.
Clowns. This does not require explanation, and any individuals who claim to enjoy clowns are, in all probability, incarnates of Hell themselves.
Spiders. Those extra legs are pitchforks in disguise.
And the most insiduous of all, these malevolent demonspawns have insinuated themselves into good society, and are unleashing their disastrous devilry. Watch out for insurance salesmen; they will entice you into selling your soul.
I could write oh so much more, but it is time to post.