Why Rachel is not a Communist
During the Russian Revolution and suchlike, there was great societal animosity towards those enterprising peasants who took to hoarding grain for their own use, instead of surrendering it to the communal system of equal distribution and society's immediate benefit.
Today, the crackpot pseudo-historian, Rachel, observes that we in the 21st century have the intellectual equivalent of these grain hoarders; namely, the people who launch themselves into one degree after another - undergraduate, post-graduate, masters, PhDs, MBAs and so forth - thereby avoiding employment, and hoarding vast stores of knowledge in their minds, away from society's immediate benefit.
She postulates, therefore, that the contemporary, intellectual equivalent of Communism would be a 21st century Joseph Stalin demanding that these people have their brains surgically removed and used as fertilizer in needy third-world nations, if they continue to refuse to surrender their minds to general consumption by society. As this infamous historical character has never quite grasped the notion that force will get you absolutely Nowhere, he would hence be the cause of no small amount of grain-requisitioning lobotomies.
And that is why Rachel is not a communist.
Disclaimer: Not (entirely) a serious post.