Justification

Dear Sir,

Rachel was not able to attend her philosophy seminar at 5 today, as she [was feeling poorly], and [had to see a doctor]. Any inconvenience is most regretted.

Yours sincerely,
MY MOTHER

[was feeling poorly] == [went cycling on the outskirts of campus, where she discovered an enormous field hemmed in by groves of spindly silhouettes, behind which the sun was setting in rapturous technicolour, painting the lengthening shadows purple and crimson]

[had to see a doctor] == [stood mesmerized in the middle of the field watching the flaming skies softening into dusk and Venus brightening in the creeping ultramarine, before realizing that she was supposed to be at a seminar ten minutes ago, oops]

Also,


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Warning: All persons depicted in these photos are extremely inebriated, and thusly not true and accurate representations thereof.