Cluttering idleThinK
I'd like to establish first that I support neither England nor Portugal, but: hot damn, the Portuguese play smug and sneaky. Are you really allowed to jerk to a stop mid-penalty-run before continuing to make the kick, so the other goalkeeper is Misled? And having the Portuguese goalkeeper take the last penalty - surely a maneuver designed to unsettle, and quite frankly, a bit of a pisstake. And slicing the ball slowly into the goal when penalty kicks are usually fast and furious? And has anyone ever seen Ronaldo with an expression that doesn't just drip of smugness on his face?
Nonetheless, enough about football and cunning Latin American players.
In the wake of the end-of-term upheaval, expect the usual dearth of updates. My packing has proceeded thus far in the direction of emptying everything I own onto the floor. Forecasted result: when I stagger in from the Union tonight, most probably blind drunk in celebration of results, I will have to navigate my unreliable feet around a veritable jungle of STUFF.
I have theories about this STUFF. In jetting back and forth from home over the year, I've brought a total of no more than three large suitcases worth of clothes and kitchenware. I have purchased, for my degree and leisure reading, many books, and being books, they pack neatly and well into two boxes.
Now, according to the Law of Conservation of International Student Things, what I bring into uni must roughly equal the amount I bring out of it, given the following Uncertainty Principle allowances:
a) that "International Student" in this case is a largely unmaterialistic does-not-splurge-on-clothing individual, and has in the whole year purchased no more than seven new items of clothing.
b) given that I subtract from the equation the said two boxes of books.
Surveying the fearful amount of STUFF on my floor, I approximate that I will require at least ten medium-sized boxes to store everything. Given that a suitcase is approximately equal to two medium-sized boxes, that leaves me with FIVE suitcases worth of things. Thus: I entered uni with three suitcases, and must leave with five. That leaves me with a total of TWO SUITCASES of things that are COMPLETELY UNACCOUNTED FOR. Laws of Conservation be damned.
WHERE HAS IT ALL COME FROM??!????
I must conclude that my room is a gateway to an extradimensional parasite universe constituted entirely of benign, innocent-looking STUFF that leaks unbidden into my corners, floor, cupboard, sink, under-sink, desk and under-bed. It all masquerades cunningly as largely unremarkable objects that escape individual detection, and can only be identified in its constituent plural form: Fuck Loads Of Clutter. There can be no other explanation.
TAKE IT AWAY MAKE IT STOP ARGH
I'll admit to being slightly drunk, already.