Phantom letter
It rained the entire way down and up, but between the meteorological belligerence, there were moments of sun, stars and strange clarity.
I'm watchful of words, analytical, weighing and calculating what to say and what not to say, judging what will be received well and what won't. This is how I am with most new people, and exactly how I am not with you, but I suppose you are neither "most people" or new.
So I remember the effortlessness most: the easy twine of fingers; the arch, fluid conversation; the dimensional silences. Just as I thought it would be, just as I said to you.
But ambiguity makes me pathological. The need to ascertain is compulsive. Circa Year 7: do you like me? Circle yes/no. Circa Year 10 maths: we are a vector. Distance and direction are factors. Define. Circa Year 9 geography: where are we now?