Summer plans
Here is a phone conversation I had with my to-be-employers. Words in italics occurred only within my skull.
Me: Hello?
Them: Hi, this is Deloitte. Is this Rachel?
Me: Just out of curiosity, do Touche and Tohmatsu get at all touchy about "Deloitte, Touche and Tohmatsu" always being shortened to "Deloitte"?
Me: Yup, that's me.
Them: Hello Rachel. I understand you're coming to work with us (sell your soul) on Monday?
Me: That's right.
Them: Great. Here are the details. Your internship is from 5th July till 31st August, working within the Corporate Finance division. Our hours are 8 to 5.30, Mondays to Fridays (because who needs a social life, really?). Dress code is corporate, smart suit jackets are encouraged and trousers or skirts are acceptable (Aww, no chicken feather boas?). No open-heeled shoes (So the boas are ok, then?). Oh, and you'll be paid RM500 a month (because you're just a low, low, low, low, low, low, lowest of the low, low, low, low, low intern). That's it then! Any questions?
Me: Do you guys provide the ball and chain shackles, or do I have to buy my own?
Me: No, that's all fine. I am a goddamn liar. Thanks very much!
Later at a salsa club, at some point I was told the following:
8 to 5.30? LIES. Try 8 to 10. PM. Weekends included.
And that is why my soul is currently shrivelling up. Thank you.