On absence
Over the course of the past two days, I have come to the conclusion that testosterone is to blame for many things, viz.,
1) The Singaporean national army
2) Winning Eleven
3) Men
As for my absence over the past two days, I blame it on his ISP.
I've also come to the conclusion that the term "inverted commas" is something of a misnomer; or at least, somewhat misleading. Assuming that "inverted commas" is an all-encompassing term for two constituent parts -- the open inverted commas and the closed inverted commas -- I would like to bring to your attention that in standard serif fonts, the former is indeed a pair of inverted (upside-down) commas, but the latter is a pair of correctly aligned commas which are merely suspended at a higher altitude than normal commas. The all-encompassing term "inverted commas", therefore, is really only half right.
And in sans-serif fonts, they aren't even inverted commas AT ALL OMFG LIES
But language, as Carr's so quick to point out, is predisposed to generalization, committing all users to a clumsy articulation of that Saussurean shapeless mass. And so I'll suggest we content ourselves (no pun intended) with words as asymptotic approximations. And be thankful we have them at all.
Still, that won't stop me from suggesting we all BOYCOTT INVERTED COMMAS. Or, at least, lobby to change their names, or something.
To people who have emailed me: I will get around to responding soon, really. Patience.