i could make a pun on holy and holey, but i won't
stockings and tights hate me. once upon a time I was able to maintain a pair of stockings for at least three weeks, but now it is simply impossible for me to own a pair of stockings without them magically developing holes and ladders within 48 hours. I can't understand it. perhaps holey stockings are the optimally evolved response to the environment of my abrasive and unlined boots, and over the years have begun to breed stockings that ladder faster and more efficiently, until the stocking race will eventually reach a point of optimum efficiency, and practically come out of the packet already with holes in preemptive anticipation. or it could be that such large and consistent holes in my stockings are far too complex to occur naturally, and therefore I must conclude the incontrovertible existence of an all-mighty Sock Deity who smiteth the footwear of the unworthy from up high, and I must grovel and repent and confess and seek penance with said Sock Deity. or maybe I just need new boots.