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also, about a week ago I had the last lecture of my undergraduate life. it's reached that point where ferreting around in my archives exhumes the grim reality of retrospection: three years of university is nearly over, when it seems as though it began only a few clicks ago. the notion of "last" requires that of "first" - first spanish class, first long essay, first surgery, first shrooms experience, first first, first best friend at university, first live concert, first snow (and second), first googlewhack, first time I saw my tutor at the laundromat, first midnight wanderlust (or wanderlost, as it turns out), first real job, first existential depression, first all-nighter, first results, first corporate-whoring internship, first academic citation. was it really that long ago? am I really three months from graduation - from another inexorable terminus, from yet another violent uprooting? where will I go, what am I doing, who will I be? how long will it be before I have any sort of constant home again?
all these uncertain futures. so for now, I think I'll just express that sentiment again.