just stop
everybody, please stop writing books. I can't keep up. everywhere I go (which is frequently, I concede, a bookshop) I am assaulted -- molested! -- by books I haven't read. I declare a moratorium on bookwriting until such time when I have read at least 50% of what I want to read. I furthermore declare a moratorium on time passing for me, so that I can imbibe, at my leisure, an eternity of learning while the world remains frozen around me, caught between two fleeting moments. there are some logistics I shall need to work out, viz., how to turn pages in frozen time, how to unfreeze time, how not to starve to death, etc. minor details.
while we wait for this secret miracle to transpire, you might as well occupy yourself otherwise.